self protection

"...sometimes you can hurt yourself more by trying to keep yourself from being hurt..." --redeeming love by francine rivers

haven't blogged or journaled or talked to God in too long. haven't blogged because i'm scared of what people would think, haven't journaled because i'm scared of what i will think, and i haven't prayed because i'm scared of what God will think. that leaves me here. in this really weird place. so hurt, that i am content enough to sit here and lick my wounds, defending off further harm,
than truly
live.

and it doesn't make sense, and it does. . .