Wednesday, July 12, 2006

falling up




Falling up by shel silverstein

i tripped on my shoelace

and i fell up
up to the rooftops
up over the town
up past the treetops
up where the colors
blend into the sounds
but it got me so dizzy
when i looked around
that i got sick to my stomach
and i threw down

i found this silly poem by one of jaeda and my favorite authors and i laughed! it kinda reminded me of the sensation that i am feeling in life right now. falling up is an amazing thing to think about--all poetical in a world of prose. but scary and shocking if it really happened. i think i would probably get sick and "throw down" too:) but it reminds me of the things that i ask God for. a more God centered life, a Godly husband, strength, love...it all sounds so pretty and poetical...but when God actually starts to answer these prayers in His way (trials) instead of my way (poofs) it impedes upon my comfort zone and i just want it all to go away. and all that i long for is the "norm". . . the non-poetical, "prosy, norm.

in the midst of all my falling up--a
sober kind of happiness is settling over my soul. it is always in the midst of great loss and change that i find great gain. funny, that's what He's always promised ...

i have never felt more alive. i have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. i have never felt so small--yet so loved. there is a freedom i've discovered in this place of loss that has given me the overwhelming sense of being found. it's so contradictory, it's so opposite of everything i've ever known...it seems as foreign to me as if things just began to fall up instead of down.

If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.
matt 10:39

i feel like he has slowly turned my world upside down, and in all the craziness and flailing around for something to hold onto i have for the first time clung to him and found myself.

amazing.

simply amazing.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home