silence

"i believe in the sun
even if it does not shine."

"i believe in love
even if i do not feel it."

"i believe in God
even when he is silent."

my great friend sara gave me this gift of embroidered words today. you have no idea how much these words meant to me in that moment.

we've found out this week that the new life that's inside me right now may not make it. it's hard understanding why. it's hard to believe. it's hard to hope. it's hard to believe and hope in this that He is good.

i know He is good. i know He is good. i know He is good.

i keep telling myself that. kinda like dorothy and that whole "there is no place like home thing". i think if i repeat it...over and over and over that i'll really get it. He is nothing but good and can be nothing but good. i know that. i believe that.

i am trying to believe that...