perspective

i'm nothing but a name on a list in another's life.

i didn't get a call from the dr. today...like they told me i would. it sucks. but i am powerless. i can kick and scream about how insensitive that is...and i have...but all my juvinille fit throwing won't fix anything. i have no choice but to wait until monday for news...as if 2 and a half years hasn't been waiting enough. it feels like my emotions are a game to Him sometimes. He could have written today's story different. but He didn't. today's chapter did make me pause long enough to recognize that my problems don't make the world go round or even stop traffic. i'm feeling a bit small. and sad. and scared.

i'm nothing but a name on a list in another's life.
a name she didn't get to today. a name--attached to some routine test results that will get taken care of monday...and that has to be okay...